Friday, February 25, 2011

My parents, my responsibility

I love my parents unconditionally and appreciate everyone else who has as close or closer relationships with their parents. I mean, they're probably have the biggest impact on my life and how socially equip with my life. Following through so far? Aight, well, starting with my padre.
I've been through two "dad-like" figures throughout my short 18 (almost 19) years of life and I haven't been happy or "non-violated.." by the last one but my step-dad that we live with now (& my mom is officially married to) has been more than expectations. My dad and I have an incredible relationship. At first I was forced to call him my dad because my mom was set on her decision that this man would be the man she'd grow old with and be spending the next lifetime with as well and I didn't mind but the word didn't mean anything. I joke around and call him 'halbae' (grandpa in Korean) and 'mandol' (my dad's Korean name is Manjoo but I joke around and call him mandol lol) but he totally earned the name "dad." He treats me like his own blood daughter and stresses about my problems -lol- like as if it's his own.
Mamamamamama -Ilove her like non other. There can literally be no one like or close to my mom. She has so many off days it;fsfjsg LOL jkjk she's beautiful, inside and out. If anyone is like her, it has to be me. I mean, we don't look alike, at all. We don't even have any similar physical features but everything that is medically or "internally?", lol, are the same. I.e.: we've both got the same obnoxious sneeze, both our backs hurt easily, we get headaches easily, etc etc. Lol something is wrong with the both of us. When I become rich in the future, I'll probably be her primary doctor and I'll fix her!!! Hahaha. Well, yeah. I appreciate my mom so much. She went through so much crap from everyone while raising my brother & me and she raised us as a single mom, high appraised! I literally felt like sometimes she would just give up on us as send us to our real dad but she always pulled through. She feels like if she doesn't have us, she doesn't really have anything to live for. I guess it's true when you have kids and you lose them, everything is like taken from you.
When I was in Chicago, IL not too long ago (from Dec. 2010-Jan. 2011), my oldest aunt told me something really really touching... She said that when I was young, my mom would fill jars of coins and stuff and she'd use all those up in one sitting just so that she can buy me and my cousins pizza. She worked so hard to keep me happy and satisfied. My real dad was an ass. My mom was telling me how on my early birthdays and stuff she'd try to take as many pictures of me because that's what a mother had to do and my real dad didn't care at all. I mean, I don't feel sentimental about that at all. I know how much of a selfish bastard he is, oops hehe.
We move around soooo much, and the past couple years, have been such a ride. I can't wait till we move back to (dotdotdot...) and get settled down. Plus, our place in NY is the tiniest piece of shithole. My dad's sister got this place for us and she didn't even fucking care about what this place's condition was. Everything is either really small, broken, or "replaced" with some other shit. Ugh, this place irritates me so much. And it's expensive as fuck!!! I can't wait till my mom goes off on her before we leave & actually leave. NY has been a terrible bump for me and I know I shouldn't complain but ughhh. --Coming back around to it, I appreciate (man, I've used that word so many times, lol) this tiny rat hole too and how the closeness of my parents & family are. I think this tiny space has made our relationship stronger and totally invincible. We've come to take this small space to an advantage and build upon and around it. My mom and dad work butthard in order to bring food on our plates and clothes on our backs (aww, cliche hahaha). I don't ask my mom or dad to buy me a car, or give me yongddon (cash to spend), and especially not to send me to an expensive college. Yeah, the last one is for my own good, but hey, if I can't get my financial aid, I ain't asking my parents to work that times more harder in order to send me to college when I can do other shit to succeed.
ANYWAYS, this post is long enough. I was tryna sound smart, then my mom's part came around and I was like "fuck this shit" hahahaha. Omg I need to stop cussing. I'm socially living in my mom & dad's shoes. Like doing things they'd be proud of (like this blog, aww:] ) and not do things that they wouldn't like (sticking my butt and tongue out every opportunity I have). Ahh shit, good thing this is private or I'd be getting a beat down ahahaha. Tatas lovelies

-OH YEAH HAHA. This post is called "my parents, my responsibility" because you know, you pretty much learn everything from your parents. Not particularly your smarts but things like hobbies or pet peeves and stuff. Like you go out and do those in public. For example, hehe, my dad farts often, I know ew gross, but I don't give a fuck. I go out and burp all the time. I say "safety" instead of excuse me, therefore I will receive the consequences of adults looking down on me. Do it allllll ya wanttttt!!! I'm a girl who doesn't give two fucks =) wait, I got one more. My mom and dad are extraordinarily loud. I mean, my whole family is like that. We have times when we're quiet and on the downlow but most of the time, it's obnoxious. I take that to public and it's okay for me:) my family's name is out there somewhere ahahahah! Alright, hyper girl, out.

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