Monday, February 7, 2011

I don't think I'm a good girlfriend

I probably won't be in a long time. I'm not trying to make myself look like the victim here but with what's been going on since my last last actual relationship, I haven't been able to trust anyone 100%. I've been having doubts about what that person may do when I'm not around. Whether it's actually doing something physical with someone else or just giving someone else a text, "unintentionally" flirting with them... I mean, I trusted that one ex, he went behind my back, and cheated on me. He slept with a chick, three times. I only left for a week for vacation to see my family who moved to Chicago, IL and I was back in WA mostly for him... I left for a three week winter break and he couldn't even last a week. The girl's cousin had to give me a call, on Christmas. What kind of fucked of shit did they have to do that the girl had to give me a call than? I really appreciate thoe, for everything the cousin did. I bitched the girl out in front of everyone and ended it with my ex in order to suffice myself. But even that didn't become enough.
I didn't trust my last ex. Especially because he was away in college and there were girls surrounding him always. AND NY girls don't seem to be able to keep their hands off any guy, even guys who already have their own girl. It's not enough to feed off the anger from the girl, but to try and go at it more. Like really? Who the fuck are you?
But anyways. Time can only tell. I'm going to concentrate on myself and my best friends. The ones who stuck around even after all the shit I put them through. I miss most of them because I can't see them but I appreciate them so much for holding on and believing in me. Girlfriend out, a better friend in ;)

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