Saturday, December 21, 2013


During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?” The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How did you know?” “Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.” replied the author. Here’s the answer: Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love. People in love sometimes say, I was swept of my feet. Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown. The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this) The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling. Remember this always: the universe determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go!

December 17, 2013

I know women that are unpleasant to be around. I’ve met a few too many of them on my behalf to say that I myself am a nice person. Some of those women are selfish, arrogant, stupid, reckless, and more, and I’m over here “thinking of others before myself.” But those women are the ones that will make a man fall head over heels for them and those men, no matter how unfair or nasty of a person she is, will stay with her and love her and know of only her.
Maybe that’s how I should be. Maybe, I have been too lenient with everything  and everyone that I somehow managed to not be a nice person but a fucking pushover. Why is it that someone can’t just genuinely be nice anymore without other people think that this girl will be easy to manipulate? What have I done so bad in my life that I am punished with uncruel men?
Is it because I grew up without a father? That whenever I feel the warmth of a man, I neglect and reject right away? Is it that I am so unhappy with the fact that my biological father never wanted me that I think that every man that I stumble upon will abandon me just like he has? God… Talk about daddy fucking issues (if that is it).
But let me point out something. No matter how FREAKING STUPIDLY NICE a person may be, taking advantage of a situation like that, will make you in the end, undesirable. How long can a person be nice? How long is do you think someone is going to put up with that nonsense bullshit and forgive you?
Maybe it is all me. Maybe I come off too strong as, what do they call it?, a “nice girl.” I’ll change. I will. From now on, I won’t put up with no one’s bullshit. It’s either all me or no me. I’m not gonna put with anyone unloyalty to the fact that they didn’t know it was portrayed as being unloyal. I’m gonna be a bitch too and instead of looking past the uglies, I’m gonna have my way too.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

50 questions, 50 ways to get to know me. From tumblr.

1: What would you name your future daughter? I'm not sure. I had a name in mind but met a girl with that name and wasn't to fond of it anymore.
2: Do you miss anyone? My boo. More than anything right now.
3: What if I told you that you were pretty? Who are you?
4: Ever been told “it’s not you, it’s me”? No lol I get other lame excuses.
5: What are you looking forward to in the next week? Mm first, tomorrow. No school or work :) then Saturday, gonna be busy that day but whatev!
6: Did you go out or stay in last night? Stay in. It was Wednesday and I had classes today.
7: How late did you stay up last night? Just till like 1.
8: Honestly, has anyone seen you in your underwear in the past 3 months? Yes... Lol :P
9: What were you doing at 12:30 this afternoon? Leaving school! Finally got 32 hours in ceramics. +.5 here I comeeeeee :)
10: Have you ever told somebody you loved them and not actually meant it? Omg yeah. I wanted to but definitely wasn't.
11: Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? Probably. I would just surround myself with people who don't drink :)
12: Have you pretended to like someone? I'm a terrible person, but I do. Just because I don't like tension between people.
13: Could you go the rest of your life without smoking a cigarette? Yup! I don't smoke at all. Unless it's hookah.
14: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile? Always.
15: Is it hard for you to get over someone? Depending on the person. If I feel like he was very important in my life, then yeah. If not, then it's whatever. No offense.
16: Think back five months ago, were you single? Define single.
17: Have you ever cried from being so mad? I cry when I'm really mad hahahaha. That's what I do *sigh pathetic.
18: Hold hands with anyone this week? No... I miss him /: But he comes back soon!
19: Did your last kiss take place in/on a bed? No. In front of my place. He came out the car just to say bye...
20: Who did you last see in person? Someone from th... Mrs. Toda haha
21: What is the last thing you said out lot? "Are you sure?"
22: Have you kissed three or more people in one night? No, never.
23: Have you ever been to Paris? No but I plan on it!
24: Are you good at hiding your feelings? No...
25: Do you use chap stick? Haven't been lately... I drink a lot of water so I'm always hydrated and my lips aren't chap at all!
26: Who did you last share a bed with? Sounds so wrong but my dog. He sleeps on my feet.
27: Are you listening to music right now? Yeah. Something on tumblr.
28: What is something you currently want right now? Clear skin...
29: Were your last three kisses from the same person? Yep <3
30: How is your heart lately? I'm honestly not sure. I miss him, and I still like him, but things have been just off lately. I don't know what it is, but it's not the same as last time... I guess we'll figure it out when he comes back...
31: Do you wear the hood on your hoodie? Yeah. Not always but I do.
32: When was the last time a member of the opposite sex hugged you? I have to admit it was probably Daniel from winter break... Sigh.
33: What do people call you? Caroline, carol, carey, inyoung, cmoney (yeah some people still do lol), etc.
34: Have you ever wanted to tell someone something but didn’t? Always.
35: Are there any stressful situations in your life? Just trying to find someone to replace me, and my all time biggest concern: acne. Face and partial body... Sigh.
36: What are you listening to right now? This edm mash up thing on tumblr that I "liked".
37: What is wrong with you right now? Head hurts, want to get off work already, need to pee, I wanna work out then shower really bad ehhhhh.
38: Love really is a beautiful thing huh? Yeah, when you have it.
39: Do you make wishes at 11:11? I used to. I just pray now.
40: What is on your wrists right now? My sleeves. No watches or bracelets.
41: Are you single/taken/heartbroken/confused/waiting for the unexpected? Single/taken. We're "talking" I think.
42: Where did you get the shirt/sweatshirt you’re wearing? From Ann Taylor lol. I love this shirt! It's the white shirt with olive green horizontal stripes. The fabric is so soft and really good quality!
43: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Hahahaha yeah. Girl and guys....... Tsk tsk.
44: Have you hugged someone within the last week? Don't think so /:
45: Have you kissed anyone in the last five days? Does my dog count? Jk /:
46: What were you doing at midnight last night? Watching homeland! Love that show. I recommend to anyone and everyone!
47: Do you miss the way things were six months ago? No. I'm okay with things more now.
48: Would you rather sleep with someone else or alone? With someone else.
49: Have you ever been to New York? Lived there. Wasn't a big fan of it.
50: Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it? My mom. And yes, of course <3

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Just a few things

1: What are you wearing? -Top: Long sleeved white collar button up with a brown cardigan and mesh leggings with knee high black boots.
2: Ever been in love? -I guess so.
3: Ever had a terrible breakup? -Most of em were.
4: How tall are you? -5'3"-4"
5: How much do you weigh? -108
6: Any tattoos do you want? -I was a sunflower on my foot  
7: Any piercing that you want? -Navel, septum, and some ear ones.
8: OTP? -What's that
9: Favorite Show? -Mmmmm not sure /: I watch a variety but Grey's Anatomy I guess.
10: Favorite bands? -If I had to choose one, it would be The Fray.
11: Something you miss? -Long hair...
12: Favorite song? -Always will be "Because of you" by Ne-yo
13: How old are you? -20. Turning 21 end of this year
14: Zodiac sign? -Virgo
15: Hair Color? -Right now, it's like light brown
16: Favorite Quote? -"Live, and let live."
17: Favorite singer? -Alicia Keys
18: Favorite color? -Royal blue maybe
19: Loud music or soft? -Depends. But soft is nice too.
20: Where do you go when you're sad? -To my room? Lolol
21: How long does it take you to shower? -20 mins
22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? -Like 1.5 hours
23: Ever been in a physical fight? -Like two haha
24: Turn on? -Answered this
25: Turn off? -Answered this
26: The reason I joined Tumblr? -This was from tumblr so this question is here but I just happened to make this when I saw it long ago.
27: Fears? -Sharks... And getting lost. I hate it so much. And being in a confined space... Omg
28: Last thing that made you cry? -My Sister's Keeper. I saw it the other night, so sad...
29: Last time you cried? -The other night haha
30: Meaning behind your url -It was my "nickname" throughout high school. A lot of people called me carolizzle for some reason... 
31: Last book you read? -Still reading kite runner
32: Last song you listened to? -Nobody falls by david puentez
33: Last show you watched? -How I met your mother
34: Last person you talked to? -This kid at my work place
35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted? -I'm his favorite person <3
36: Favorite food? -Seafood
37: Place you want to visit? -California. I'm craving for some vitamin d and sunshine!!
38: Last place you were? -Home. Now at work.
39: Do you have a crush? -Yes. Daniel Kang.
40: Last time you kissed someone? -Winter break. The Friday before he left back to Cali for school...
41: Last time you were insulted and what was it? -Mm I don't know honestly.
42: What color underwear are you wearing? -Hot pink haha
43: What color shirt are you wearing? -White and black under
44: What color bottoms are you wearing? -Black
45: Wearing any bracelets? -Yep. Three. One spiked and two black with gold on it.
46: Last sport you played? -Wow it's been a while... Fastpitch
47: Last song you sang? -Don't remember
48: Last prank call you remember doing? -I don't remember
49: Last time you hung out with anyone? -Friday. UW Tacoma's dance with Melanie. I was busy the days after haha
50: Favorite movie? -Not sure right now. I literally like all kinds of movies

Monday, February 18, 2013

Car Accident #1

Today was my very first "accident" ever. Okay, I've been in other car accidents but this one was with a new car, and by myself so I was a little shook... I was just a driving and stupid navy blue acura had to try to avoid the car in front of it slowing down so they decided to join me and not look. He or she had hit me and dodged into the neighborhood. I tried looking for them but they just left so I'm a little upset, yeah. I didn't cry thoe, which I'm pretty proud of. Ehhhhhh whatever. I came to work like three hours late and I'm just stuffing my face now. When you're sad, eating may be the best source. I plan on going to hot yoga at like 6 in the morning tmrw. But when I get home tonight, I'm gonna watch movies and while doing that, upload some pictures of 2012. I did one last year lol so I wanna do one this year too. Maybe even in chronological order. Ooooohh :) okay I feel a little better. Bye.

Friday, January 25, 2013

For VDay

A: Who do you like and Why? -Babe. It's been a couple months like this, same reasons as before.
B: Have you ever been in love? If yes, how many times, and how do you know it was love? -Uhm yeah, if I can recall. Twice. It couldn't have been anything else.
C: Longest relationship you've ever been in, and why did it end? -13 months. Cheated on me. Gave him a second chance, couldn't do it.
D: Have you ever changed for someone, if yes, how? -Kind of. I sacrificed many things for Myung. I barely hung out with friends while I was with him.
E: Pretend I'm your ex, what do you want to say to me? -Most recent? Then to Jason Piol. You were the best I could have ever had. But I'm glad we didn't go thru with the whole marriage and moving thing. We didn't know what we wanted. It was all on impulse. But after all this time, I'm glad we're still good friends although I miss you being my best friend.
F: Have you ever been cheated on? -Yeah.
G: Have you ever cheated? -I wouldn't call it cheating. We broke up at first, I was interested in someone else but it didn't work with him cos I still wanted to make things work with Myung, so I went back with him. But that went down the drain lol.
H: Would you date someone who's know for cheating, if yes why? -Hell no. Who is stupid enough for that crap?
I: What's the most important part of a relationship? -Uhm not sure actually /: you need a whole bunch of things lawl.
J: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings? -Flings can be fun but if I'm seriously interested in someone, a serious relationship would be nice too.
K: When you are dating someone do you believe in going on "breaks"? -No.
L: How many people have you ever hooked up with? -Hooked up as in just making out with no other physical activity and no relationship right? Hmmm... Lol, four? Okay, I've been on a couple dates summer 2012, and I've kissed like a couple dudes, but not all.
M: What's one thing you regret saying or not saying, doing or not doing in a previous relationship? -Hahaha I regret going out with most of my relationships. The only ones I actually cared about, I wasn't even in an actual relationship with (like with Eric, etc.).
N: Would you break up with someone your parents didn't approve of? -Yeah. My mom knows best. She's not a judgmental person but if someone is really not right for me, she'll know.
O: Do you believe in the phrase, "Age is just a number?" Why or why not? -Yeah. It's becoming more of society's norms where we date much older or much younger people.
P: What about "Love at first sight"? Why or why not? -I do. Lol. Why? Cos of movies LOL. But seriously. I believe in soul mates as well. But some people are meant to be alone, lol sowwy.
Q:Turn on's? -When a guy smells good!! When you catch them playing their favorite sport. Looking all intense playing..... Ahhh! So hot! Guys who are spontaneous. Live for the moment. Not worried about the next day or caught up with what just happened. "In the moment" type of guys. And a guy who appreciates and roots me for me and what I do. And instead of pushing me to be better, a guy who motivates and roots for me.
R: Turn off's? -Guys who drool over other girls *eye roll* and make it so damn obvious haha, caught. Guys who don't put God first. Guys who don't appreciate my family, including monkey!!
S: What do you consider a deal breaker?
T: How do you know it's time to end a relationship? -When you constantly argue and can never come to a stop. When someone hurts you in a way you never though possible. When someone religiously lies to you. When you get annoyed of them.
U: Are you currently in a relationship? If yes, for how long? If no, how long have you been single? -No. Well, I'm "talking" to Daniel but I'm considered single. And I've been single for about 13 months now.
V: Do you think people who have dated can stay friends? -Yeah. I'm friends with Jason. It took a while for us to be friends again but we're good now. And when we talk, it's friendly, not flirty.
W: Do gay, lesbians, bisexuals or transgender people bother you? -No. My best friend since high school is a lesbian and I've been there for her from the start. I feel like whatever you're comfortable being, is what you're meant to be.
X: How many relationships have you had? -Official? Uhm let's see. 6. But half of em were just like flings to me. But he was my "boyfriend" so ehh.
Y: Do you think love can last forever? -I'm a hopeless romantic so I think it's forever. And I think "love is enough."
Z: Do you believe love can conquer all things? -"Love is enough." Lol
1:Do you think long distance relationships can work? Why or why not? -Not sure anymore /: The whole reason Jason and I didn't work was cos first we rushed things. Instead of dating first, we went to being "engaged." Then he went away for the Air Force and our schedules never matched up so we barely talked and each time we talked we argued because of the lack of acknowledgment from one another. That's what I'm afraid of will happen with Daniel... We talk and talk and talk but I feel like that's it. Like it's going nowhere from here. And I don't want to feel like that but I get no reassurance from him so it sucks...
2: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be? -Never fall for bullshit. It's in front of your face the whole time. Figure it out quickly and never fall for it.
3: What do you notice first about another person? -I'm a person, so looks. But it doesn't get the best of me. If you look at some of my ex's, you know for sure that I wasn't totally into the looks thing hahaha. But some of em, mm yummy LOL. K but really. Looks, then our similarities. If you think what I think is interesting, first problem solved. HOLLA AT CHO GURL. Hahahaha

From before

Lawl... Still bothers me but whatev.


Although I'm a bitter bitch towards him, I wanna keep all the best things in here <3