Saturday, December 21, 2013

December 17, 2013

I know women that are unpleasant to be around. I’ve met a few too many of them on my behalf to say that I myself am a nice person. Some of those women are selfish, arrogant, stupid, reckless, and more, and I’m over here “thinking of others before myself.” But those women are the ones that will make a man fall head over heels for them and those men, no matter how unfair or nasty of a person she is, will stay with her and love her and know of only her.
Maybe that’s how I should be. Maybe, I have been too lenient with everything  and everyone that I somehow managed to not be a nice person but a fucking pushover. Why is it that someone can’t just genuinely be nice anymore without other people think that this girl will be easy to manipulate? What have I done so bad in my life that I am punished with uncruel men?
Is it because I grew up without a father? That whenever I feel the warmth of a man, I neglect and reject right away? Is it that I am so unhappy with the fact that my biological father never wanted me that I think that every man that I stumble upon will abandon me just like he has? God… Talk about daddy fucking issues (if that is it).
But let me point out something. No matter how FREAKING STUPIDLY NICE a person may be, taking advantage of a situation like that, will make you in the end, undesirable. How long can a person be nice? How long is do you think someone is going to put up with that nonsense bullshit and forgive you?
Maybe it is all me. Maybe I come off too strong as, what do they call it?, a “nice girl.” I’ll change. I will. From now on, I won’t put up with no one’s bullshit. It’s either all me or no me. I’m not gonna put with anyone unloyalty to the fact that they didn’t know it was portrayed as being unloyal. I’m gonna be a bitch too and instead of looking past the uglies, I’m gonna have my way too.

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