Thursday, September 13, 2012

Dear Daniel (anyone)

I'm so glad I made a blogspot and didn't tell anyone about it. You know why? Cos I can't write whatever the heck I want without people knowing stinking business or thinking that I'm over dramatic or whatever. I can write in the shittiest grammar and I can actually write vulgar, condescending words.
First off let me say this. YOU SUCK. I cannot believe I let yet another guy walk all over me. I was so oblivious to you today on your actions and yet I still let you made me feel like this... Fine, I'm very interested in you. After we decided we're nothing and kept talking, it made you look irresistible. And I love challenges. I love the fact that you and I are completely single and we declared ourselves single but we still talk like we're not. I mean, we were never together. Never been on an actual date together. But you and I both know we connect some ways. We're similar in a lot of ways and that makes this more interesting and fun.
You're a let down because you say you're gonna hang and cuddle with me and the next thing you're bailing out. You ditched me several times already because you're "too tired." It shows lol. That you don't really like me and the only reason why you're sticking around and talking to me is cos you're not back in Cali yet and you're bored. But watch me, I'm doing the same shit to you. I'm going to keep you interested and on your toes till you leave and you know what? I'll be fine with it. Cos we didn't have anything physical, it'll be easy.
But thanks for helping me declare that we're nothing... I need this. I need interests but space at the same time. I need you there to keep me company and on MY toes. But I also don't need a relationship. I'm not ready. And I'm not sure when I will be. But until then, I have to have boundaries and to know not to pursue them. Yes I admit I was a lil butthurt when we were like "we can't do this cos of timing" but it's good. I need to be butthurt to remind myself that things will get better when it just falls into place. I've been trying to push this into something that has to work but I have to let it just sink. God will work His wonders and when He does, it'll be so good...... So thanks. And I'm glad we're still good. I need someone to keep me company. Like forreals. Xoxo, your princess ;) hahaha only you'll get it~

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