Whataya want from me

Just don't give up I'm workin it outPlease don't give in, I won't let you downHe messed me up, need a second to breatheJust keep coming aroundHey, whataya want from meWhataya want from meWhataya want from me

The fact that I thought this was more, or that you wanted more, makes this that much harder. You didn't even fight for me, you just let it go. Yeah, I finalized my decision but you should have stopped me. It wasn't just me in this relationship, was it? It was supposed to be the two of us, fighting for us, for our future together, that we decided on... It's not supposed to be hard, we're both supposed to know what we wanted. Which is this, us. If we were physically there, it would have been me talking the whole time while you sat there, watching me pack my bags and leave the door. You repeated the same shit today, you let it happen this way. Even till now, I'm still the only one holding on... This sucks, really.

I am my mom's biggest fan

To be continued........lol

I'm going to write myself a love poem & it's gonna be the thing I read to Jason on the podium.

Damien Fernandez: Forever

No one can compare to you, no one as good as you, no one as sweet as you...

I miss you so much... I talked to you forever today. Since 8:30 as I was driving home from work. I missed phoning with you and so glad I did. I know my home reception sucks so I guess you have no choice but to get me the HTC hahaha you're so silly, so cute <3 I forgive you for joking about me going over there to you to cuddle with you & making me cry... I guess I needed to let it out since we both didn't cry when I left ya there in Texas, homeboy :o) hahaha I love when you call me "guuuuurl" hahaha. It's so funny. Just like the old times =) which is also perfectly fine for me. I loved "us" when we were just best friends. We held hands, slept together on the same bed, cuddled always, and we have so many inside jokes. You'll be my best friend forever, and forever my soulmate. You're the best, no one can compare.
Can't wait till I see you again. I see youuuuu, tryna surprise visit me July 4th weekend. But it's too darn expensive ): but it's okay boo. I can see you when I'm down for the weekend in August. I'm gonna ask for time off, I'm pretty sure that it'll be perfectly fine :) I'm gonna save up hella money and it won't be a problem for neither of us. We can go get our rings, and each other's birthday gifts. It'll be so fun yay. I'll come down your birthday weekend!! Ahhhhhhh that'll be so "AWEsome" hehehe. What is? Hahaha I miss our jokes... But yay, when I go down, you won't need to head back & you can spend the nights with me <3 lovelyyyy. I miss you so much. I love you so much more. Can't wait to be in your arms again, Airman Piol <3 Your fiancee, cmoney :) haha xoxo hugs & kisses!!!

1 Peter 4:8 'Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.'

This goes out to my lovely fiancée, Jason Piol <3 Without you, I wouldn't be what I am right now. You motivate me and make me strive to be the best. I love you so much and I know this moment, with you, is eternal, for sure & forever. There hasn't been an instant where I would take back with you. Everything, even all the downfalls, have created this stronger bond between us and made me want to be with you even more. So many times I felt we doubted each other, but each time, you were there. You held on and you never let go. Nor will you from this moment on. I know this, and I trust you. So many things are going to happen. Good & bad but they'll all be nothing but memories. Because we'll hold on tight, to whatever. You were first my best friend, now I'm going to the wife of the best guy out there. You're so funny, disciplined, family orientated, motivated, handsome :), etc etc. You're gonna be the best husband, friend, father out there. I know this... :') but for now, I miss you so much. I can't wait to see you in 22 days! I get goosebumps every time I think about seeing you run with your squad, in your suit lol, then you spotting us (if you're allowed to peak hehe) and us tapping you out. We're gonna rush to go see you so we can spend every single minute with you. I'm gonna cry so much, it's gonna be one of the greatest moments in our lives. To be reunited <3 I love you, Jas :) Stop worrying about getting me my ring lol. I told you, all I want is to actually be married to you and have a fatass bedroom with a king size bed, a marble countertop kitchen and two pups to keep me company for when you go off to work for the couple times of week. Then I want you to be with me forever. Loving me & only me :) selfish huh. Bahahaha we're gonna have so much fun. So many adventures, but it'll be together. I get butterflies every time I think about you & me spending the rest of our lives together. We're set. We're this. We're us. I miss you soooooo much, sugarpie ;) & "I love you that much more", Jason Shane Sanaco Piol. -Your fiancée, Caroline In-Young Lee.

My mama always told me, "Don't be with a man whose already got a past and history."

The reason why she says it is because when he finds -or tries to- find someone new, he wouldn't know what he's looking for. If he's trying to replace her or find someone else to fill in and gets lost and confuse on the way. The next girl may not be what he wants and he'll struggle and hurt that person... Eventually he'll become so exhausted that he'll go back to her, his past. Fact of the matter is that he's been with her so long that he can't forget how perfect she was for him. He'll miss the person that he was when he was with her and all the great times they had together during that time.
I know all this cos it's happened to me, couple of times. And now I'm with someone whose had a past... I won't let my guard down. So hopefully that means I won't get as hurt as before... I just hope for the best cos I want to give my all in this relationship. Fuck me man, this always happens to me.

Lol this post is useless

I just wanted to see my shoe collection and compare to what is left back at washington. I'm obsessed with shoes & clothing in general. I cleaned my rack LOL (was that put wrongly?) and thought I'd see wut I have now.