How can you let all this go...

Meaning of my blog

I don't necessarily believe in things like Karma but I do believe coincidences and "in the moment" cos of stuff. Serendipity has anything to do with happiness and it coming up at any point, in an accident, so to say. Trying to find someone's downfall is hard. Most people won't really open up, whether they're insecure or truly believe that they are "too happy to be down." I mean, I'm in no position to judge them if they are seriously happy 100% of the time but they are happy right? Okay, my point being, you will see happier people than sad. Happy moments spring upon people, whether it was intended upon or not. I mean, who wouldn't want that? Serendipity is the occurrence of events that have a chance of total satisfaction at any point without you having a clue. Serendipity is also the reason why some people don't commit suicide at the last minute. I think it's so important because people find a non absolute reason for not giving up. People will always wait for that moment of serendipity. Whether it happens right there in an instant or in the long run.

No More

Seriously, I can't do this anymore. All I'm doing is hurting myself and wishing things were better when I know for a fact it won't be. I miss you, so much. But it's just that you don't understand. You're being really selfish and I swear I thought you had more than this in you. I wished the best for us and I would have done anything to be with you, even give you your space and wait. But this is the end of the line for me. I sent you a text this morning, and I know for a fact you got it. I said that I don't want this, but I said it out of anger. Imagine how you'd be if you were to be in my position. Helpless and just waiting for an answer, a response. I'm hopeless here. All I can do is just wait it off till you come to me because I made my move. I made multiple moves in fact. But you won't accept me. I wish you were stronger than this cos I know this can't be the end... It just fucking started & I fucking miss you...so much...

DIY: Shirt Pocket Patch

This is so random. Lolol yday, I made a shirt pocket patch. I'll show you what it looks like in a minute but the reason why I'm just randomly putting this in here is because I kind of wanted to start making like blogs on "diy's". I wanna start blogging even if it's not really for anyone who needs em, but maybe, who knows! Well, here's my first one:

1. What I first did was buy fabric (from Joann's) and I measured them how big I wanted it to be. It's 100% cotton and was on sale for $5.99/yd but I got half a yard so it was about $2.89. My patch here is 10cm wide and 8cm tall/10cm tall (the smaller ends and the middle). Make sure to make them a little bigger for the hemming and my patch was a little smaller than how I wanted it, so add 2+ cm each.
2. I then folded it where the line was and I ironed it so it makes the sewing much easier.




3. Next, I pinned it down (with a pin haha) to where I want it to be.

 Here is a close up of where I pinned it. --Just to let you know, I take off the pins as I sew along. It's just to help stay in place!

 4. I line up the fabric so I have a straight line.

 5. Same thing, but this is the second part to it. I just turn the whole shirt and line it up again. And go all the way around till you get to the other side of where you started.

 6. Should have mentioned it before. I made 2 more earlier and I sewed the top part of the patch before working on patching it onto the shirt because I wanted an open pocket. But I want this shirt to be just a patch, therefore I am sewing it right onto the shirt. (Notice how the other end is lined up)

 7. Tada! This is what the final product will look like. This is just a one line stitch (I don't know the exact terms for it, sorry!).

 These are the three I made altogether. Different types of design will cost at various prices. As you can see they're all animal prints and they are all 100% cotton!

And here it is on. This was very fun & easy to make. Yayay! Be on the lookout for my next diy!!

Btw, I'm an idiot for last night's text. I texted him "I finally read your card... Thank you. & I hope you're doing well. Don't stress too much, don't starve yourself, and do well on your finals. And I miss you."
I got a "You deserve to be happy! I'm doing okay just tired hope your doing well! You can do anything you can if you set your mind to it!"
I have no idea what that had to do with what I said first but I think he's over it... I think I wanted/this want this to work out more than he does. I guess I'm still pondering what could have happened before I opened my fucking mouth and ruined shit. Like I always do.

They said "it'll get better with time" but as more time passes by, the more I miss you. I can't stop thinking about even the little things about you... Like when you sleep and wake up the next morning, we know you were facing towards me the whole night cos the hair on the side you were laying on sticks up. Haha, even the smallest things about you make me smile. I watch the few videos I made with you and I miss you so much more. They make me smile but at the same time, it hurts me to know that that was just in the past. But I hope not. I hope that we can make things work and finally get back to how things were, with each other. You brought out the best in me and I know I may be destructive at times but it was because I'm still emotionally adjusting to receiving all this attention from my last break... You're mending everything and bringing everything in place for me and as corny as it may sound, you didn't finish putting the puzzle pieces together. The more you leave it around, the more the loose ends gets lost. It's been tough, but you made it easier. Now without you, it got harder than how it was before...

I did my exam #2 in my geo class and I got a 100% !!! I didn't struggle and I finished it with 42 mins left out of 55. HYFR I'm happy ! I'm just gonna keep this up. Get my homework done right when I get home, get all my assignments turned in, and study study study!! I've got two more quizzes for my geography class and I gotta just do better than 80% in them then I can pass that class with a 3.5, at the least. But ugggg only thing was my fucking communications class tests. LOL today was such a fail. I studied for the material but all the shit he writes in the test itself makes everything I studied for to backfire. Omg omg, I was like the third to last one to leave and when the other two last girls left, I felt the urge to discuss it with them and I guess I wasn't the only one who thought she bombed the test. Omg hahahaha one of the girls who I thought was smart was like "he's fucking up my grades with his class. He doesn't know how to speak so I don't understand shit from him." Hhahaha she was so angry grrrr. Anyways, I'm gonna see what my score was, try to get my second quiz back (wtf, he's sluffing) and then do great on my finals. I'm gonna now eat, go get things done for mama and come back home to finish the rest of my paper. I gotta start reading my next chapter for geography too. I'm excited to get this quarter over with and relax spring vaca. I'm thinking about going to OR to spend time with my cousins there and work at my auntie's restaurant for money. Tata~