ARE YOU WITH THE RIGHT PARTNER? (from tumblr)

During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?” The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How did you know?” “Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind.” replied the author. Here’s the answer: Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls, want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love. People in love sometimes say, I was swept of my feet. Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU. Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when relationships breakdown. The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found. People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this) The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found. SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable. Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling. Remember this always: the universe determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go!

December 17, 2013

I know women that are unpleasant to be around. I’ve met a few too many of them on my behalf to say that I myself am a nice person. Some of those women are selfish, arrogant, stupid, reckless, and more, and I’m over here “thinking of others before myself.” But those women are the ones that will make a man fall head over heels for them and those men, no matter how unfair or nasty of a person she is, will stay with her and love her and know of only her.
Maybe that’s how I should be. Maybe, I have been too lenient with everything  and everyone that I somehow managed to not be a nice person but a fucking pushover. Why is it that someone can’t just genuinely be nice anymore without other people think that this girl will be easy to manipulate? What have I done so bad in my life that I am punished with uncruel men?
Is it because I grew up without a father? That whenever I feel the warmth of a man, I neglect and reject right away? Is it that I am so unhappy with the fact that my biological father never wanted me that I think that every man that I stumble upon will abandon me just like he has? God… Talk about daddy fucking issues (if that is it).
But let me point out something. No matter how FREAKING STUPIDLY NICE a person may be, taking advantage of a situation like that, will make you in the end, undesirable. How long can a person be nice? How long is do you think someone is going to put up with that nonsense bullshit and forgive you?
Maybe it is all me. Maybe I come off too strong as, what do they call it?, a “nice girl.” I’ll change. I will. From now on, I won’t put up with no one’s bullshit. It’s either all me or no me. I’m not gonna put with anyone unloyalty to the fact that they didn’t know it was portrayed as being unloyal. I’m gonna be a bitch too and instead of looking past the uglies, I’m gonna have my way too.