Let's get personal (from tumblr)

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most? Lately it's been "Came to my rescue" by Hillsong. "Arirang" by SG Wannabe. "Dive" by Usher. "Don't Judge Me" by Chris Brown. "Four Seasons of Lonelieness"by Boyz II Men. & "Come Wake Me Up" by Rascal Flatts. I love all genres of music.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Jennifer Aniston. My alltime biggest celebrity crush since I can remember <33333333

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17. "...professional medical help arrives."

4: What do you think about most? Lately it's been school and my financial aid...

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say? "I can't right now I'm to busy."

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on? With...

7: What's your strangest talent? I don't think I have one...

8: Girls... (finish the sentence); Boys... (finish the sentence) 

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you? This kid wrote me a poem one time. I have no idea where it is now.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

11: Do you have any strange phobias? I'm just terrified of sharks...

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

13: What's your religion? Christianity

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? I'm probably at school -______-"

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Behind. I'm camera shy

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band? I love The Fray.

17: What was the last lie you told? Probably today... I'm not sure what thoe

18: Do you believe in karma? Yes.

19: What does your URL mean? I think it's just my name...

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength? Love has got to be my all time weakness... I'm a hopeless romantic and it sucks. Greatest strength........ mia lol

21: Who is your celebrity crush? Jennifer Aniston

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping? Partial skinny dipping. With my bra and shorts

23: How do you vent your anger? Keep it to myself and just write it out in my journal (har har)

24: Do you have a collection of anything? I have way too many iPhone 4 cases...

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Phone. I'm camera shy as I said... Even if it is one on one.

26: Are you happy with the person you've become? At times. I'm still trying to change.

27: What's a sound you hate; sound you love?

28: What's your biggest "what if"?

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

32: What's the worst place you have ever been to?

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast? West Coast. I've lived on both sides and I do prefer West Coast over the east anyday.

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

36: Define Art.

37: Do you believe in luck? No lol

38: What's the weather like right now? Not too shabby. It hasn't rained all day and the sun is actually out today.

39: What time is it? 7:29 PM

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes and uhm, one time this old guy scraped his car along mine. He took a right turn while I was going straight and that was when I didn't have my license LOL so I got fined and handcuffed but it's off my record now :)

41: What was the last book you read? Does two psych, one socio, and one pe textbook count?

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline? No!

43: Do you have any nicknames? Carol, Cary, Carebear lol

44: What was the last film you saw? I watched "A Walk to Remember" last night :')

45: What's the worst injury you've ever had? Hot boiling water all over my left hand... I had the worst boils, it hurt so much...

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

47: Do you have any obsessions right now? Spikes and sparkles on my nails. And tryna get rid of the acne/acne scars on my face... *sighhhhhh

48: What's your sexual orientation? Straight. I don't think I've ever questioned my interests.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you? I don't think so

50: Do you believe in magic?

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

52: What is your astrological sign? Virgo!

53: Do you save money or spend it? Spend majority, sometimes save.

54: What's the last thing you purchased? Target today. I bought ELF's tinted moisturizer and No. 7's face wash.

55: Love or lust? Love in enough.

56: In a relationship? No, but interested in someone.

57: How many relationships have you had? Jesse, Myung, Jj, Jason. 4? Official ones and I had things with several other kiddos.

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue? No, I just tried lol.

59: Where were you yesterday? Same places as today. Home, school, work, home.

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you? Highlighter in front of me.

61: Are you wearing socks right now? Yep

62: What's your favourite animal? My pup Monkey hehe.

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you? If u don't like me, u don't. I don't need to go out of my way and try to be "extraordinary".

64: Where is your best friend? Melissa is in Chicago, IL. Nathalie is somewhere in Kent, prolly working. Donna is back at WSU still. Jo is prolly up in Seattle right now. And Andrew said he's going home so prolly home lol.

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

66: What is your heritage? South Korean, holla.

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM? Drying off my nail lol! I know this cos I was tryna sleep n couldn't cos of these babies...

68: What do you think is Satan's last name?

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend? Yeah, I'm so nice and generous. TOO nice and generous...

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do? Get my ass fired. Wtf, I ain't leaving a dog drowning if I know that I can save it.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? Yes, my fam, church members, and close friends. b) What do you do with your remaining days? I don't have enough money to go out of the country so I'll probably just go drive across the states and visit all my loved ones~ lolol c) Would you be afraid? Dur. Lol why the heck am I even answering this one?

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love. Love is enough.

74: What's a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Superman by Lamont. Reminds me of someone...

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number? 9770

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship? Two people with similar interests/goals in life, communication is key, and honesty.

77: How can I win your heart? Be a Christian, healthy lifestyle (exercise wise), goes to school, be good to my family <3, be good in bed... lol but u can't want too much!, and has a job.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity? 

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far? Go back to school.

80: What size shoes do you wear? 6.5-7 I have big feet

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

82: What is your favourite word? Holla. I say it as a joke but I say it way too often...

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart. Ache

84: What is a saying you say a lot? "Hollaaaaaa"

85: What's the last song you listened to? 

86: Basic question; what's your favourite colour/colours?

87: What is your current desktop picture?

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be? I'll hate myself for saying it out loud... So let's not. It's a female, that's all I can say.

89: What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do? Hide under my blanket. I'd be too scared to move.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power? Teleporting. I would love to just jump around from one place to another.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again? Lol when my mom and I went in to transfer me out of KM. I would like to stay there...

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? That one time in Chicago when I was 12. I was molested and it was the worst experience ever. I can remember everything clearly even till now... It's like I'm reliving it over and over again...

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? New York. I miss my dad...

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

98: Ever been on a plane? All my life! I love plane rides.

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

Pursuing

I would never pursue a guy. I would pursue my favorite hobby. I would pursue my career. I would pursue for greater moments with my family but never would I ever pursue a man.
I was 13 when I had my first boyfriend. I remember falling for him so hard because I didn’t know anything about guys and/or romance. It was something that sprouted onto me at a young age and since then I had high hopes to find the right guy… After we broke up, I moved on to another guy. Guy after guy… Gosh I sound like a sleeze but it wasn’t for romance anymore. It was for the satisfaction of having someone there. Someone else who cares a lot about me and my interests. It didn’t matter how many times I got hurt, as long as the next guy made it all go away~. But now I know. I’ve learned…
I will never try to “make it work” with anyone ever again. It was just to make me feel complete but I know that I’ll never feel it if I go after it. I’ll let it happen. I don’t care if it happens tomorrow, or in 10 years, or never. I have to start pursuing things that actually matter. As soon as I do that, everything else will fall right into place…

Dear Daniel (anyone)

I'm so glad I made a blogspot and didn't tell anyone about it. You know why? Cos I can't write whatever the heck I want without people knowing stinking business or thinking that I'm over dramatic or whatever. I can write in the shittiest grammar and I can actually write vulgar, condescending words.
First off let me say this. YOU SUCK. I cannot believe I let yet another guy walk all over me. I was so oblivious to you today on your actions and yet I still let you made me feel like this... Fine, I'm very interested in you. After we decided we're nothing and kept talking, it made you look irresistible. And I love challenges. I love the fact that you and I are completely single and we declared ourselves single but we still talk like we're not. I mean, we were never together. Never been on an actual date together. But you and I both know we connect some ways. We're similar in a lot of ways and that makes this more interesting and fun.
You're a let down because you say you're gonna hang and cuddle with me and the next thing you're bailing out. You ditched me several times already because you're "too tired." It shows lol. That you don't really like me and the only reason why you're sticking around and talking to me is cos you're not back in Cali yet and you're bored. But watch me, I'm doing the same shit to you. I'm going to keep you interested and on your toes till you leave and you know what? I'll be fine with it. Cos we didn't have anything physical, it'll be easy.
But thanks for helping me declare that we're nothing... I need this. I need interests but space at the same time. I need you there to keep me company and on MY toes. But I also don't need a relationship. I'm not ready. And I'm not sure when I will be. But until then, I have to have boundaries and to know not to pursue them. Yes I admit I was a lil butthurt when we were like "we can't do this cos of timing" but it's good. I need to be butthurt to remind myself that things will get better when it just falls into place. I've been trying to push this into something that has to work but I have to let it just sink. God will work His wonders and when He does, it'll be so good...... So thanks. And I'm glad we're still good. I need someone to keep me company. Like forreals. Xoxo, your princess ;) hahaha only you'll get it~

Dear ex bestfriend,

This entry will probably be the hardest out of the rest of my posts. This title states it all because even after everything, you were my best friend. Yeah, there was a time when we were more but that was after we established how good friends we are... I knew there had to have been a reason why we weren't compatible. I just couldn't put my finger on it. Now we both know. It would end up like this...
I wouldn't just lose you as a guy but also as my best friend. You were a good guy but you were a great friend. You knew how to take care of me even before it got all serious. We lost touch for a long time but whenever we talked again, it was like we never stopped talking.
I remember looking back during Junior/Senior year of high school. Almost four years ago, you were telling me how you'll never get over what's her face and that you'll never find a girl who can love you. I remember when I had to keep telling you that you're not ugly because you were so self conscious. I remember having to cry on your shoulder at nights when it got so hard with boys & my family. You were always there. Literally too because we've lived in the same apartment complex. There was a time when you and I were a duo. You never left my side and I never left yours.
It sucks now. I don't even know what you're doing with your life. It's only been a couple months. Wait what the hell. It's been a couple months! I should damn well be over you but it's hard... I'm not. I dread ever leaving your house without talking with you. I regret having you go down to Seattle the following day without letting you into my place to talk to me. I regret for even letting us get that close when I knew time would come when it would get in the way of our friendship. Yet we both let it happen... And now I lost you. Not only asa guy but as a best friend... I will always cherish you in my heart. No matter how much I try to hate you for hurting me, I can't. I won't. I'll always love you because you were so good to me.
I hope you're well. I hope to talk to you soon. I miss you. See you later.

Dear ex boyfriend

Hahahaha omg I'm ridiculous. I remember telling everyone I'm completely over you but honestly, I don't think I am. You were even my boyfriend but I miss more than I've ever missed anyone. This is the most difficult post-"relationship breakup" ever and I'm sad to say that, it's over and I have to get used to it. No matter how much I'm struggling, I have to accept it and move on.
I've tried everything. From dating other guys, to even trying to hate you. I've consoled in my closest girlfriends whom you know and they tell me to move on. Even from one of my girlfriends, this is what she noted, "I think its cus its the first guy that treated you like a princess & you weren't used to that. But you needa realize that all guys should treat you like that. So just meet another guy that treats you that well...whose also tall tan & sexy." Hahaha I love her words of wisdom, and it's true.
I was recollecting all the memories from before. How good he was to me and how I wasn't too fond of how well he treated me because it wasn't something that I've dealt it. Whenever he had complimented me, I'd always say something to backfire instead of accepting it and thanking him. It hit me that I missed him the most when I had a drink with my gf's sunday night. We all got totally wasted and the next morning I woke up with the fattest hangover. As soon as I woke up, I thought of him. Because the last time I was at their place, hungover the next day, I called him and he came to pick me up & he took care of me. All I was longing for what him to be there again but it hit me that he won't be, and probably never again.
I went to Roots like two Sundays in a row and I saw him there. But whenever we looked at each other, he looked and walked the other way. That is what troubles me the most, I think. Why I can't let go... The fact that we will never be the same as we used to be. He used to mean so much to me before everything and now he's nothing... He was someone I considered my best friend before it all. And then he was my lover. And now...nothing.

This probably should be private...

When in doubt,

This summer I'm not expecting anything. I just want to work, save up, start getting ready for school by relaxing, and have chill days/nights. When summer hits, or is about to, people get all anxious to "live life up" and go do things they've never done before. It's reasonable, they have the time off and the weather is great, but that doesn't mean you must be out every single night pissed drunk.
My goal this summer is to relax, and meet up with my close friends that I'm not able to see during the school year. I want to see my bnb girls and have dress up nights and girls night outs. I want to see Nathalie and help her through the tougher times, living on her own and all. I want to see Joanna when she has the times to. I want to be with Donna when she comes down once in a while from wsu. I miss peejay although he's always working. I wanna get him back to school as well as Janet. I want Sarah to enjoy this summer before her first year in college at UW. I want to call Melissa often and keep my words. I want to see my other friends and enjoy the littlest things. I also want to find a church to settle down with. So that it's not just good for our social gatherings but spiritual growth as well. I want to help my mom during the hardest times. And I want my teeth to hurry up and get straight.
Lolol this was such a pointless text. I totally got off topic and I made no sense whatsoever.